Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
