So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
