oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
