Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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