You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
