Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
