i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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