Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
