an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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