I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize