your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
