Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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