I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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