Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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