there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
