I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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