i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
