he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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