THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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