Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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