please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
