they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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