She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
