HIV tests are more positive than that guy
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
