Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
