Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
