but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
