Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
you had me at cake vodka
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
