I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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