i don't like sucking hair
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
