Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
