Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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