So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
