he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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