What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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