Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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