shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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