so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
