I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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