if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
