He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
birth control should be required to get into college
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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