Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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