We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
