Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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