Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
