i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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