I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
