I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
