OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
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