also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
