i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i think i have herpe
just one?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
