U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
