That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
