im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
