how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
