the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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