so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
